Don’t Be An Abrasive Leader

Hi ~Contact.FirstName~,

What if you're told you're an abrasive leader? How do you become less abrasive over time?

Today's Leader Feeder is part two of a series. The first one, dealt with abrasive people that you interact with. But what happens when you're the abrasive leader yourself?

Abrasive behaviours will usually come to your attention because either your manager or the HR team has  let you know people have been complaining about your abrasiveness in the way you're dealing with people. At first, you will probably get a little defensive because you think that other people are just being overly sensitive when all you really wanted to do was get the work done.

What if there's something to this abrasiveness? That's something that you might need to deal with.

Let's assume for a moment there is a basis of truth in the fact that you're more abrasive than you need to be. The good news is you, as a leader, can work on your triggers, the things that cause you to act abrasively, but also change the way that you deal with people to be more effective. It isn't going soft to be less abrasive, it's just becoming more constructive. Generally, by being more constructive, you're going to improve your relationships with people at work. And quite frankly, probably outside of work as well.

I've got a few tips for you, if you're an abrasive leader.

The number one tip is to be prepared to explain yourself fully. Abrasive people tend to be very short and abrupt in their communication strategies. I know because even under pressure, I can get that way, and I'm not always as expressive as I should be. Being super-efficient with your words might seem to be good for productivity, but it's not great for relationships. People cannot read your mind to understand what you are thinking, and they need you to explain things a bit more to them and perhaps be a little bit more tactful as well while you're doing that.

The second tip  is to watch your tone. Communication is partly the words you use, but a lot of it has to do with your tone and body language. If you are abrasive, there is a tendency for you to be very abrupt in your tone. You might be clipped or almost to the point where you are demeaning with the way you say things. If you could be more aware of this, you could learn to be more conversational and not accusational in your commentary. Remember, your goal is not so much to accuse people or to make them feel bad. It is to get people to do the things you want them to do in the way that you would like them to do that. You do that by being conversational, not by being punitive and negative towards them.

The third tip is going to be expressing gratitude. Expressing gratitude in general means instead of being ticked off, you are going to be in gratitude mode. This means that you are thinking of all the good things that are going on in the workplace. Even if it is not quite up to your standards of expectation, you know that generally what you are trying to do is move people forward, and you should be celebrating those gains as people are making improvements. Why not begin in gratitude? Be thankful for the things that people do and for the improvements that they make. You will find that, this will yield great results in your work life, and also in your personal life.

When you are seen as being less abrasive, you are going to see how much it positively impacts the work relationships you have with others. It could even affect your colleagues, your relationship with your manager, and definitely the relationship with your team members.

Watch the full video here.

Share on:

Develop the skills your team needs to drive results and maximize engagement. Call us at 1-866-700-9043, email info@frontlineleadership.com or click here to contact us today.   I am a button → Get Trained Now     Thank you for investing your time in developing your leadership skills. Accept our best wishes for success on your leadership journey. Sincerely, Greg Schinkel, CSP President Front Line Leadership Systems

Front Line Leadership Systems 313-556-2454 or 866-700-9043 admin@frontlineleadership.com frontlineleadership.com Front Line Leadership Systems, 3200 Greenfield Road, Dearborn, MI 48120 Canadian address: 151 York Street, London, Ontario N6A 1A8 Canada