The debate continues whether it is better to be a tough aggressive boss or an easy going manager. Both types of leaders can be ineffective. It turns out they are both defensive, hiding a weakness deep inside. By confronting thinking and behavior styles, managers can achieve their best and unlock the potential of people around them.

With more than 18 years of leadership training, development and coaching under our belt, we have come to some important breakthrough discoveries. Despite some of the best training and workshops on the planet, we were still unable to transform some leadership behaviors.

By incorporating feedback from individual assessment tools designed by Human Synergistics, we have been able to reveal to the manager themselves, what they need to change to become more effective. These assessments reveal the inside work a leader must do to fix themselves first, in order to reach their full potential and have maximum impact on others.

Aggressive and Passive Defensive Styles

There are two ways to defend yourself from attack – go on the offensive yourself, or retreat to a safer place. Both are defensive responses. What are we defending our self from? Often it is our insecurities and fears. While we defend we cannot help others to achieve their best, nor can we achieve our own full potential.

Four Aggressive-Defensive Styles and Behaviors

Oppositional – The inner need to find fault with people and situations, bring those faults to the surface and argue passionately against someone else’s opinion. Sometimes oppositional people can be quite humorous for their ability to find faults quickly and crack a joke at the expense of other individuals or the company themselves. As a manager, the oppositional style appears to be fault-finding, argumentative and non-supportive. This style is defending against people discovering this individual’s own faults and weaknesses. Some oppositional style is helpful in being able to see opportunities for improvement. If you are high in oppositional, you are likely dismissing this article right now. Tip: Hold yourself back from finding fault – start noticing what is going well and build up others rather than tearing them down.

Power – The inner need to command respect and authority by way of one’s position. Bosses who demand respect without earning it or showing it to others. Managers who do not treat other individuals at lower levels in the organization with respect are demonstrating their Power style. They tend not to treat people well. Often there is a hidden insecurity where the individual has not been treated with respect in the past or was belittled. Tip – begin showing respect and treating people with humility at all levels in the organization.

Competitiveness – Many organizations put emphasis on competitiveness instead of achievement. They may even foster competition among their own people, and divisions creating silos and lack of cooperation. Competitiveness is the need to compare yourself to others instead of achieving full potential. This individual’s value is derived by comparing themselves favorably to others, so they will be less of a team player, fail to develop their people to become stronger and focus on short term results. A moderate amount of competitiveness can be a strength, however the focus should be on achievement. Tip – focus on achievement of potential instead of comparing against others.

Perfectionism – Perfection is unachievable. Perfectionists are typically never happy with their performance or the performance of others and therefore offer very little praise. They are hard on themselves and others. This thinking and behavior can be linked back to parents and managers who, no matter how good the performance, said there was room for improvement. Up to a certain level, perfectionism creates high quality work – beyond that it becomes destructive to the individual and the people around them. Tip – recognize the excellence in yourself and others, set achievable goals and standards and celebrate the success that has been achieved. Offer praise and recognition for improvement of performance to encourage further growth.

Four Passive-Defensive Styles and Behaviors

Avoidance – Staying away from people or situations to avoid the perceived negative consequences. Leaders exhibiting this style will keep their head down and look busy so as not to attract attention to themselves. The hiding characteristic may indicate they are hiding another insecurity they do not want discovered. Tip – Start getting comfortable setting objectives and recognizing your own strengths. Prepare for and tackle issues you have been avoiding.

Dependency – Dependent people want to run ideas, problems and situations by someone else to get their input before deciding. They may abdicate decision making completely to others. There may be an underlying fear of making a mistake, or a learned pattern of going to others for permission, rather than weighing risks and taking action. Tip – Start making decisions without always asking what other people think.

Conventional – Let’s look at how we did this before. Extreme thinking and behavior in this area puts too much emphasis on policies, procedures and systems. The underlying fear is of making a mistake by trying something new. Tip – Try something new. Be open to a suggestion of a different approach.

Approval – This person wants to be liked by people, and certainly not to be disliked by anyone. As a manager, they think that they will be more popular by making decisions everyone will agree on. Employees often become frustrated because this type of leader tells people different stories to try and make everyone happy. Ironically, this behavior actually works against the individual because people lose respect for the person. Tip – Make a decision, communicate it consistently and stop flip-flopping.

Constructive thinking and behavior styles

Achievement – While difficult to describe, an achievement focus emphasizes success measured against potential. Managers both for themselves and for their workgroups, set and communicate goals designed to help each person and the overall team succeed. Tip – set goals, measure progress, celebrate accomplishments.

Self-actualization – This style reflects the desire to focus on fulfilling one’s potential rather than comparing oneself against others. Learning new things, taking interest in self-development and personal growth are indicators of this style. Tip – Recognize your gifts and talents and your potential for growth and look for opportunities to be the best you can be.

Encouraging – This leader or individual brings out the best in others, encourages their growth and recognizes the potential and actual performance in the people they know. Tip – Say something encouraging to the people you work with or who work for you. Avoid cynical and sarcastic comments. Build up people and show appreciation for others.

Affiliative – This style measures how approachable an individual is and how well they get along with others. Most employees want a manager who is approachable and consistent in their mood and demeanor. Tip – treat everyone in a friendly and professional manner. Be the type of person people like to approach and share information with.

How can I learn more?

These assessment tools can be used to measure individuals, work teams and the culture of an entire organization. See how they might enrich your next leadership development program, management retreat or help you on your journey towards culture change. Contact Greg Schinkel at 800-622-6437 or 519-685-2116 or email gschinkel@uniquedevelopment.com.

Overview of UTDI Leadership Development Services