We think we are being clear and then we get frustrated when the other person doesn’t do what we expect. It could be because we are using vague language that can easily be misinterpreted. Let’s look at this issue and how to prevent it.

Basic Words, Easy to Misinterpret

In a recent leadership workshop I asked each participant to complete an exercise in the use of vague terms to describe how frequently something was occurring. The words were Always, Sometimes, Frequently, Almost Never and Occasionally. Each participant then wrote down a percentage that they interpreted when others used that word to describe how often something was happening.

The range on each word was startling. As you might expect, with the word Always, many participants said that Always meant something was happening 100% of the time. Another participant disagreed saying that Always meant it was happening only 10% of the time. He explained that most people he deals with exaggerate by using the word Always. So even the words you think everyone would agree on have a potential wide range of interpretations.

Think of how these words are used every day:

She is always late! – Chances are the person is not late 100% of the time, so the use of the word always is imprecise and an exaggeration.

The report is never submitted on time – Again, never means zero and it is likely the report is at least submitted on time every once in a while.

Frequently people do not pay attention when they are driving – What percentage of the time does this mean?

Reflect on some other common phrases

I'll get right back to you: Taken literally it means you should expect a call within a few minutes. The other person could be thinking ‘by the end of the day’.

As soon as possible: One person said he puts these ASAP requests at the bottom of the pile because in his mind, only after all the other work was completed would it be possible to get to the that task.

I need it right away: Often used by customers or managers who are in a hurry. It would help to know exactly when they needed it. It may even be negotiable and you might be able to complete something else first.

How you can prevent this confusion

As the sender of communication use more precise language when making requests. Be specific about when you need something and you will increase your chances of getting what you want and avoiding disappointment.

As a receiver of communication ask for clarification when people use vague language with you. For those people how deal with customers, this can be very important to avoid customer dissatisfaction. For example if someone asks you to ‘Get right back to them’, you can ask, “If I get that to you by noon, would that be okay?”

Isn't fall a great time to take advantage of ‘Back to School’ mentality? Consider planning a training workshop or seminar to pump up your team and equip them for greater success.

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